Last One Picked For Dodgeball

This is pretty funny.  Rob is a pastor, I am his wife.  I have looked around on line for Pastor’s wifey kind of stuff.  Just curious.  Just looking.  Wondering if anyone else out there has a life as bizare as mine, (as in people coming to your garage sale, demanding to know “why we don’t do weddings here..”)  huh?

Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about WEIRD stuff happens when you are a pastor’s wife.  Apparently, I am not fitting the mold of what it is to be a pastor’s wife, because in all my attempts to make online friends with some of these women,or connect with some of these web sites,  they have completely DISSED me!  What does this mean?  What do I have to do to make it into the club?  I don’t mean to be cruel, but do I need to learn to play the piano, sing in the choir, teach Sunday School, and then have several church members over for dinner after all that on a Sunday afternoon?  Would I be a cool pastor’s wife then?

I am not looking for sympathy.  I have never felt more loved and accepted by anyone then the staff and members of GCC.  They are not my problem.  It’s these other women.  Is there a card somewhere that I don’t have?  Do I need a membership into a secret society?  Are they watching me to see if I continue to make blunders?  Are they checking to see if I am smart enough, funny enough, wise enough, or rich enough?  I just don’t get it.  I just thought they might like me.  I feel like I am in Jr. High all over again.  I’m the last one to get picked for dodgeball…rats.

11 thoughts on “Last One Picked For Dodgeball

  • June 10, 2008 at 9:58 pm
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    I was always the last person picked for Dodgeball, Kickball, you name it! It wasn’t/isn’t a good feeling! For what it’s worth, I think the cool blogging wife has it all over the wives who play piano, sing in the choir, teach Sunday School, etc. =-)

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  • June 10, 2008 at 10:45 pm
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    Your husband is part of a church that is breaking the mold. You know GCC has a lot of opposition among Christians. You, Rob’s awesome wife, are also a trailblazer, a mold-breaker. It is a shame that you have to confront the lack of ONE LOVE more often than others, being on the forefront. Jesus was a mold breaker, too. You’re cool according all of the ‘cool’ people out there. The others just can’t ‘hang’ with you.

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  • June 10, 2008 at 11:29 pm
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    The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. And the truly cool people only emerged after high school. Thus saith this pastor’s wife…

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  • June 10, 2008 at 11:54 pm
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    Well, I don’t care who “they” are I like you just fine. I have come across some of that same stuff and well frankly I have decided to ignore it. And I certaintly don’t fit in the standard mold. I don’t get it though, the last time I checked we were all working for the same boss!

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  • June 11, 2008 at 6:51 am
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    Ummm. I think I have a unofficial membership in the club. After 2 1/2 years at GCC, I still haven’t made any friends. Maybe I am too unique to fit the mold. I try not to worry about it, because I love GCC and the lack of friends there will not stop me from serving God. Maybe things will change with the Elkhart launch. Hey, the only time I got picked first for any sport was if my best friend was one of the captains. I so feel your pain! *g*

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  • June 11, 2008 at 9:02 am
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    I’m in the same boat as Kathleen. I’ve been at GCC for over 2 years and can’t seem to make any family friends. I had a few at the Mom’s group, but it was canceled within a month of us moving here.
    We can’t join a group because there is no childcare available. So we just do our best to meet folks in the neighborhood, but once they find out where we go to church they usually back off slowly.
    What’s worse is when the Pastor’s wife is the one who’s dissing you. Not here at GCC but at our last church. At events, she spoke poorly about those who didn’t attend. It actually encouraged attendance once everyone found out!

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  • June 13, 2008 at 10:52 am
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    When it comes to friends, I’ll take reality over perfection any day of the week. Keep it up.
    PS> My wife is an excellent educator and dodgeball should not be allowed in schools. LOL! 🙂

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  • June 13, 2008 at 11:21 am
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    You are THE coolest pastor’s wife I know … they are all just intimidated by you.

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  • June 15, 2008 at 5:44 pm
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    Michelle- I am a Sr. Pastor’s wife in Kansas City. I’m 39, trying to stay cool (in a cool way). Thought this was a good time to let you know I really enjoy your blog. I love the ministry, but I definitely do not fit the pastor’s wife mold. I do not play piano, sing, wear a lot of makeup, shop excessively, attend weird conventions, teach a class on how to decorate a table, or any other bizarre things. Maybe it’s my sense of humor, ability to not complain when my husband is gone/busy, love of movies & sports & jeans, tendency to relate downward (age wise)-wait that’s probably just immaturity 🙂 , addiction to Twitter, or whatever. I get very uncomfortable around pastor’s wives. Not intimidated, just uncomfortable. My first thought is I am not like them. I’m thinking: “when can I get out of these clothes and head to Starbucks”. We have a great church and for the most part, they love me. There may be a few old-schoolers who think I should do this or that, but I am very involved within my gifts. Good to hear there are other “misfit” pastor’s wives out there!! We thank God for GCC and have been blessed thru your church in many ways. Keep blogging the “real” stuff.

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  • August 24, 2009 at 12:01 pm
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    Hi Michelle – I just had to say HI and tell you to stick to it!!! Not fitting in is just what Jesus called us to do!! Jesus was not always the number one guy on the block, I think He would have been last to be picked…unless He was giving them something they wanted. When He was healing someone He was loved by all, when He was telling them to follow His Father He was not so loved. Its the same in our lives as pastor’s wives…if there is something someone needs or wants from us we have so many buddies we cannot count them all…when its done they are all gone. I have been a pastor’s wife for years and was so glad to find your blog today..keep it up, you are God’s new mold, I for one am so proud to have you be a pastor wife!! Welcome to the club…not sure anyone really wants in the club but the rewards are worth the pain.
    Its also nice to know you at GCC have the same problems the rest of us have. We were at your telecast last month, thanks for being there!!!
    Any plans to do a Pastor’s wife conference????? I would come!

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  • January 25, 2010 at 4:03 pm
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    I’m so happy to find your blog. I also began searching through blogs of pastor’s wives recently and found that even the so-called unusual or rebellious wives still tend to fit the old mold. My husband is a Lutheran pastor and until 5 years ago, I was an atheist. I am a happy and faithful Christian, but I still struggle as a pastor’s wife. Not only am I an introvert with no knack for small talk, I can’t cook, knit, sew or play the piano. I wear jeans to church most sundays, my children are usually the loudest and most energetic kids at church, and I don’t homeschool. I love tv shows, movies and books that most members of our church would not, and I am a fan of very non-christian music such as Eminem. My point is that I know how you feel about the other sites/blogs. I often find those pastor’s wives complaining about the stress of our role in the church, followed by a recipe for the next potluck. “They” don’t seem to be too accepting to the pastor’s wives who aren’t just like them. I don’t mean to judge them when I feel that they are doing the judging, but I do agree with you about the fact that it seems like some secret society. I enjoy your writing and thanks for sharing your views.

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