Some Answers

The Pastor's wife Q&A I mentioned in my last post has created a remarkable amount of buzz in the pastor's wife world. It's a secret society that meets when everyone else is sleeping or watching The Biggest Loser

  I think that a lot of women that read these questions thought they were the only one who felt these things. 

I'm going to answer a few of the questions that were asked at the Q&A to the best of my ability.  There were so many questions, I will post a few answers at a time. 

· How do you balance your family life with ministry life?

I think of all the questions that the Pastor's wives asked, this one came up the most often.  Pastors in full time ministry are often married to a person who wants to be serving just as much as the pastor.  This worked GREAT for me and Rob before we had children.  We both worked full time together in the Youth Ministry.  It was great to work together, we shared absolutely everything about our lives together.  There was no frustration or lack of understanding when we were trying to talk about our day, because we both had been together all day.

Since we have had children, that has all changed.  When Maddie was a baby, she just tagged along with us.  We took her to all our meetings.  I literally put her down for her naps in a closet (it was a large closet, she was in her pack-n-play).  I hardly felt a difference at all with my involvement in ministry.Then Whitney was born 18 months later, and everything changed.  2 toddlers at a meeting was way too much to handle.  Babysitters got expensive, so I found myself having to stay at home a lot more.

When Isabelle was born, I was really really sick for a year or so.  We hardly left the house.  Ministry was a thing of a distant memory.  It hurt my heart when Rob got to do all this amazing stuff and I didn't get to help at all.

I slowly began to realize that my sacrifice was enabling God's work to be done.  It is all about God getting the glory in the end, not me.  If I hadn't stayed home with the girls, their lives would have been chaotic, Rob would come home to a chaotic household, and everything would be in pieces.  My staying home has been the glue that has held our house together. 

It's been hard.  BUT, it has been so worth it.  Now that the girls are a little older, I am able to be a bit more involved in ministry.  As I look back on the last 8 years or so of taking a more reserved approach to ministry, I feel like it was hardly any time at all. 

God works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

4 thoughts on “Some Answers

  • September 24, 2008 at 9:33 am
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    Michelle – I am not a pastors wife, but I had the privilege to watch you up close during those early days of ministry and then as your first two babies were born. The “pastor’s wives world” is very fortunate to have you in it. Your insight and experience continues to inspire and amaze me. And if I were to every marry a pastor, you can BET I’d be in the front row of any Q&A or workshop you’d teach! 🙂

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  • September 24, 2008 at 10:57 pm
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    Thank you so much sharing the above… it could not have been more timing for me. My husband has just started in his first lead pastor postion and we’ve recently moved. At our former church is where we plunged into ministry feet first… we were and are a team… however three children later it was getting difficult but we did it because that’s what we do :O) (We also had two sets of parents, aunts, uncles and good friends to help juggle while we were involved…) Our new church – we will gain jsut as good friends.. but it lands us 30 minutes away from a quick drop off and it’s causing me to realize that my job is going to be shifting. Today was a hard day because I realized that I’m not going to be the right hand person AT CHURCH for Stephen… and it’s kinda hard to swallow… Like you mentioend above, I feel just as sure that I am called to the ministry and it’s hard to surrender that for this season… but again, thank you for the reminder that this is a season and for the perspective. Many, many thanks…

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  • September 25, 2008 at 12:48 pm
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    Thanks for reminding me about the seasons of life and how they relate to my ministry. My most recent post was inspired by your thoughts!

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  • September 25, 2008 at 2:42 pm
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    Michelle,
    I have been following your blog for awhile..can’t remember how I got to it. Just wanted to let you know I know that I love your stories and think you are a great Mom!! I have only lived in the area for 4 years..and went to GCC several times w/ a cousin when I first moved here. My son and I loved it..need to get my husband there!! Anyway…thanks for sharing your answers about what it’s like to be a pastors wife and all your other stories!!
    Dawn

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