Why I Don’t Like Women (but why I’m trying)

I don’t always like women very much. Women can be nasty. The jobs I have kept that have all women on staff are the hardest jobs I have had. Women have this tendency to rip one another apart. I suppose gossip and slander are our ways of making ourselves feel better about our own insecurities.

A few months ago I had the opportunity be on a panel for a Pastor's Wife Q&A.  The attendees were all women who had the same thing in common.  They were all Pastors’ wives.  They were all at different ages and stages of life, but their questions had an uncanny theme. The thing they asked most about was how to deal with criticism and the bitterness that follows.

Pastor’s wife or not, all women deal with feelings of bitterness when they are betrayed by a friend or criticized unfairly by someone they care about. Here are some things I have done to deal with these issues:

· Never fight back in the moment. You will say things you regret.

· Try to see the hurt the other person is talking through.

· Ask yourself if there is even a small amount of truth to what they are saying.

· Don’t feed the fire of your insecurities by brooding over these things in your mind

· Focus on others. A pity-party will only bring you down more.

· Keep a sense of humor. Most of what people find to be critical about is pretty funny.

· Wait till you are home or with your spouse to laugh. Laughing at them in the moment is almost as bad as fighting back in the moment.

· Remember that Jesus was criticized and betrayed by the ones He loved the most. He sees. He cares.

Psalm 56:8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

10 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Like Women (but why I’m trying)

  • December 1, 2008 at 10:11 pm
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    Now I feel bad about the pizza tweet. But it sure was alot of food. No, I totally agree and especially this point you made: “Try to see the hurt the other person is talking through.” This is probably a difficult thing to do but when you can focus on this aspect, grace is easier to give.

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  • December 2, 2008 at 8:16 am
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    You’re right on target here, Michelle. I have always wondered why women seem to have to turn on each other like they do…but like you mention here, it’s usually because of insecurities and hurt “that they are talking through”. Keeping that perspective is helpful!

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  • December 2, 2008 at 8:26 am
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    Amen, sister!!! Why do we women feel we need to tear each other apart to build ourselves up? I have had many a job where the office atmosphere has been destroyed by petty, backbiting, women. I’d rather work in an office filled with men…they seem to be able to disagree with each other then go out for lunch !!

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  • December 2, 2008 at 11:13 am
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    I so agree!! Lost a great job because of a female insecurity issue. I was intune to it, and it still didn’t matter. Now working with someone with no managerial skills that accuses with no facts and makes slanderous remarks with incorrect information. Give me an office full of men any day of the week! I am with the last post, disagree, even agree to disagree… then go have lunch. We have enough to do with all the ‘hats’ we women tend to have to wear, so, why are we not more supportive of each other?

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  • December 2, 2008 at 11:41 am
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    Good points and a great lesson for all of us.

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  • December 3, 2008 at 3:00 am
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    Totally agree. Women are the hardest creatures to work for or with. Unpredictable, emotion-driven and power hungry….many of them. I didn’t even like women professors in college! Women also tend to be harder on other women and not as understanding about home/work balance issues. So glad I don’t have to deal with that mess anymore… I’d much rather work for my 1-year-old boss.

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  • December 3, 2008 at 6:50 am
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    When I was a teenager, I had a lot of male friends. I found them much easier to get along with. What I have noticed as an adult is that I have some great girlfriends, but none of them run in the same group. For example, my best friend doesn’t even know my friend Lisa, and Lisa doesn’t know my friend Kelly, and Kelly doesn’t know Chrissy, and Chrissy has never met Karen… It hasn’t been deliberate, but maybe it has kept me free of a great deal of hurt and heart-ache that can happen with a group of women. Of course, it could be that all of them are awesome women who don’t behave that way! I know who the back-biters and gossips are at work and I steer clear of them. It works for me.

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  • December 3, 2008 at 9:29 am
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    So true. I have had more difficulties in groups of women than anything else. I am learning to not get sucked up in the drama and find friends who just love me for me and support me. That is what real friends do and those people are out there- you just have to find them. Wonderful post!

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  • December 4, 2008 at 8:18 pm
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    Thank you for that. The insight helps me deal with criticism from a difficult girlfriend.

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  • December 4, 2008 at 11:11 pm
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    Brilliant post my friend. By the way, great family photos … priceless!

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