How To Become A Christian Celebrity (and other nauseating advice)

There is a disturbing trend in the realms of Christianity these days. Christian celebrities.  I’m not talking about Televangelist’s.  Not to many people idolize them, but I’m talking about super-pastors, authors, blogger’s, and musicians.  The trend is disturbing in more ways than one.  I follow some of these people, not because I want to be like them, or even that I like what they have to say, but because I am endlessly scratching my head, wondering what is so worthy of so many people’s time, attention, and near idol-worship?  

I’m getting to the “old person” stage of my life, so I feel it’s time I can share some of the things I have learned in my old age.  From following these “Christian celebrities” I have figured out a few of their secrets.  So, if you want to become a Christian celebrity, here are some things you should do to begin your career of awesomeness:

  • Pastors-Occasionally say swear words from stage, and don’t comb your hair or shave.  End your message by saying, “I’m just being real, man.”
  • Authors-become friends with other Christian celebrities so they will endorse your book.  Be nice to them, forget about the nobodies. 
  • Blogger’s-Tile every post with something catchy and controversial like “I hate my Pastor” or “I like to kick Puppies.”  Back-petal, talk about how cool your pastor is, and how you really do love puppies, then talk about how you are just being real, relevant and raw.
  • Musicians-Don’t write anything new.  Just follow the trends and what everyone else is doing.  Add your own twist, but grow your hair just a bit long, dress grungy, and wear flip-flops.  You’re guaranteed coolness.

And most importantly, remember your career will only be advanced by those who are already cool.  Don’t respond to emails Facebook messages, or Twitter’s from anyone other than those who are already “in”. 


I hope this was helpful.  If you need any more info., just let me know.  I have a lot of energy about this issue.  Can you tell?

3 thoughts on “How To Become A Christian Celebrity (and other nauseating advice)

  • December 7, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    I used to follow some of these people. I wanted to see / catch the excitment. I just got depressed that THIS is what people saw as Christ like.

  • December 9, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    I can relate on so many levels. The blog one gets to me sometimes, but they’re really not worth my “angst.”
    Just popped over to say hi, but I really liked this post. And thanks for listing me on your blogroll!! Woo hoo!! 🙂


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