Transitions

_MG_1871 Being a mommy for the past 11 years, I feel like my life is in a constant state of fluctuations and transitions.  Once we get through one phase with one girl, a completely different unknown phase starts with another.  This is stuff you don’t find in books or on the Internet.  Its all about discovering each child for their uniqueness and abilities, strengths and weaknesses.

We’re in major transition right now with the girls on either end of the spectrum.  Sometimes Rob and I just look at each other in wonder and talk and pray about what to do next.  Sometimes we are completely at a loss as to how to help our children through a certain phase we have absolutely no handle on. 

Its at those times when we ask for help.  We’re not perfect.  We’re  not all-wise or all-knowing.  Just because Rob is a pastor doesn’t mean that he has been given a magic bag of Pastor dust to solve any and all problems that might rise up in our path.

Our kids are fine.  I don’t want you to worry about them.  As their Mommy I am constantly trying to help them be the best little person they can be at each age and stage, that’s all.  Sometimes I just don’t know how to do it.

I am so, so thankful for people that know more than me.  The mentors I have are my life-lines in times like this. 

Do you have a mentor?  I’d love to hear about who it is and how they help you.

9 thoughts on “Transitions

  • February 4, 2009 at 10:45 am
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    I”m realizing that the more life we have under our belts, the more I feel clueless… Our middle child is entering Kindergarten this coming fall, Madeline is grasping at her faith, and Sophia is walking… I feel old and like I need a nap most days… but yes… I have been blessed by some wonderful ladies and it’s cool how God has provided different ‘types’ for different needs…
    I have a lady who I babysat her kids growing up who is my Naomi-type.
    I have a dear, dear friend who God gave me as a neighbor for just a short year and then took her away. However, he knew that that year I would be in a battle ground year and would need someone ‘outside’ to stand by, listen, and keep me in check.
    The newest discovery is the PW’s that host blogs. It’s a really nice networking tool that spurs me on…
    Thanks!

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  • February 4, 2009 at 10:55 am
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    I have two. One who I call back home in Seattle whenever I need some serious guidance, hammer on the head or whenever I just can’t decipher what God is trying to tell me. The other just helps with life in general. I never claim to have the answers and If God is trying to tell me something that I can’t hear or see in His word-I know he will use others.

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  • February 4, 2009 at 10:57 am
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    Oh, by the way-my daughter is at a stage where she has to tell us everything from going to the bathroom, to drawing to OMW…it is driving me crazy. There are no buttons to turn her off and I am going nuts.

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  • February 4, 2009 at 10:58 am
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    My mom. She was a single parent for a long time and I saw her go through so many transitions. I learned so much from her (and still learn) over the years. When I want the “truth” told to me I go to her because she keeps it real. We talk almost each day (or at least 4 times a week) and even after 44 years of her being my mom, I still learn something new about her each day. She is the strongest person I know and his been through a lot (a much harder life then I have ever had) and she still keeps moving forward each day, no matter what. I hope to be just like her one day, and I love that she is a role model of a strong, confident woman for my girls.

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  • February 4, 2009 at 8:04 pm
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    I don’t have one specific mentor, but I definitely listen to women who have children (specifically daughters) who are just one stage ahead of me. It really helps.

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  • February 5, 2009 at 3:03 pm
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    We’ve been through lots of transitions! I never had a mentor but learned a ton from those around me…get to know other kids at the same age (what’s “normal” and what’s not)and talk to parents of kids who have been through the transitions. For me I also accessed male friends who could give me a male point of view about my sons. I think it’s all about finding someone who seems to be doing it right and asking how they do/did it.

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  • February 5, 2009 at 7:34 pm
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    Michelle,
    Reach out to friends like you are and you will find out they are having similar issues.
    You are correct when you say that it is one transition after another…just like when they were infants. Remember when it was success to get them to sleep three hours in a row…then it evolved to all night? Feedings, solid foods, potty training. It all seems like a breeze now doesn’t it?
    You and Rob are wonderful parents and it is normal not to have all of the answers. It is awesome to want to focus on their strengths, accept their weaknesses, and sometimes even wonder how you are going to get through the next day.
    I literally just got off of the phone with an old friend of 30 years…we went to jr high and highschool together. I called her in tears because my youngest son who is in the autism spectrum(asbergers syndrome) has difficulty with peer relationships for various reasons. he is delightful, smart, a great artist, loves animals, but his focus is narrow and for kids in the spectrum anything out of the ordinary can throw them off for the day. i got off track here, but i called lisa and cried, vented and she got me back on track for the moment.
    Believe in yourself. you DO know how to do it. you do it every day and when you dont know the answer you look for it. most times i sit with God and wait for an answer. there is no quick fix and as you said no magic potion. we make it up as we go 🙂 i talked to cynthia cabello today as well and she has struggles and said to me…”noone prepares us for this” as we were both weepy. you have a great support system with your friends…and as i told cynthia today..you may be the pastors wife….but you are still you. and you and your husband are still a couple and a great family. i imagine you feel like you are under a microscope of sorts, but know that there are highs and lows along the road. funny…all of my sister/friends are experiencing the same thing. sorry for the long windedness of this…my ADD is shining. Keep the faith…the teen years are coming 🙂

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  • February 7, 2009 at 10:39 am
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    There are times, especially now, that as we are entering new phases like engagements, graduations, our “baby” almost a senior that I most definitely seek advice. I seek wisdom from those who have gone before me and pray we are on the right track. I also seek advice from my most awesome mentor who doesn’t have children but she has the most amazing wisdom of those I know. I tend to find we are usually on the right track but it is so reassuring to have confirmation. I am finding as we enter this new phase of life that it is extremely difficult to watch them make life changing decisions and not be able to decide for them. I know the foundatin laid is strong in Christ but we watch, we wait and we pray.

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  • February 11, 2009 at 9:59 am
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    I just came across your blog today when I saw your post on CLUTCH. I am also a PW who has 3 daughters as well. We are not too far from your church we are in Ohio about an 1 1/2 away. I know that we have been to several of the conferences that Grainger hosts. Since moving to Ohio six years ago, we have had many transitions the first one being that we moved away from our family and are now living in a small town, compared to the Chicagoland area. We also had our third daughter here which was another big transition. I can honestly say that the Lord has taught us so much through this move that I now consider this a blessing. Not only have we grown in our relationship with our Heavenly Father but we have also grown closer together as a couple. I can not say I have one person who I have established a mentoring relationship with, that is something that i would love to have one day and do pray about. I do have several close friends that are also moms that I know I can share things with about my kids and are able to seek advice from them about mommy things, but regards to ministry concerns, that is a tricky one, and I am not sure I have anyone I feel completly comfortable with just being able to share it all with. I usually find myself venting my frustrations and concerns to my mom.

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