Who wouldn’t want to be the perfect wife?

I’ve gotten some interesting responses from people about the previous post.  My mom thought it was funny, but at the same time, she said, “That’s how it really was. Consider the divorce rate back then.  It was almost zero. ”  I said back to her , “I think all of my friends parents are divorced…at least 90%”

So, I know I try.  I really try to be a good wife.  I know my friends do to.  It just doesn’t always turn out the way I intend it to.  I have backed up with true examples from my own life of what does happen when I try.


  • Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

The children quiet?  I’ve got 5 in my house every day after school.  The murmur of their voices is enough to drown us out.

The washer and dryer run incessantly at my house.  If they didn’t, no one would have clothes to wear.

  • Have dinner ready-Plan ahead, even the night before to have his dinner ready when he gets home.  He will be hungry when he gets home

Hungry?  I ate the girls’ leftover waffles for breakfast and mac and cheese for lunch.  He went out to coffee and bagels for breakfast and Houlahans for lunch.  I am a withered piece of flesh by the time he gets home…starving!

  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

I had to chase the neighbor boy down the block only to find him hiding in another neighbors house.  I had to pull him out of the house and force him into my car.  I had to tell his mom about it, and she completely ignored me. That was 5 minutes before he got home.  I didn’t have time to find my ribbon.

  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Interesting? definitely!  His days are never boring, and neither are mine.

  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him

I usually bow down to Rob when he walks in the door.  That’s good for the marriage.

  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

I  “clear away the clutter” 6 times a day, although no one ever notices, because as I am “clearing” one area, Belle and the dog are in the next “area” dumping a box of crayons on the floor, or stomping mud in from the outside.  We do this all day…follow each other in circles

  • A good wife always knows her place.

My Place?  My Place…hmm….  Haven’t found that yet.    Working on that one.

One thought on “Who wouldn’t want to be the perfect wife?

  1. Lisa says:

    I personally like ‘speak to him in a low, soothing voice’ and ‘lie him down in bed or a comfortable chair.’ I’m pretty sure Russ would be very freaked out and wondering if his life was about to end, especially with the silent, clean house and me with my makeup and bows. Yeah, I’m thinking he would turn and run.

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